Are you a dumbass? (Oh, pardon me, I meant a self-centered ignoramus of epic proportions)

When I was a girl I never swore. It was a matter of principle. My Mama had always said that swearing was a sign of ignorance. If you swore, it just meant that you were too stupid to come up with something better to say. And besides, I was a good Christian girl, and good Christian girls didn’t swear.

Blonde shocked woman holding anxiously the hand over mouth

It made sense to my young influential brain, so I didn’t question the logic, and I just didn’t do it.

But then I became an adult, and I came to realize the value of a well placed curse word. Sometimes, nothing says it better. It might say it with more intelligence, or even say it  more specifically, but not better.

As a writer, choosing the best word for a situation is very important, and so, I very frequently find myself swearing these days–much to my mother’s chagrin.

Case in point: the modern driving situation.

Sure, I could call the dumbass who is too busy texting at the green light (despite the line of cars behind him waiting for him to get the hell out of the way so they can go) a self-centered ignoramus of epic proportions, BUT when we are in the heat of the moment, sounding intelligent isn’t nearly as important as summing up the situation succinctly, and dumbass does that quickly and to the point.

dumbass

Yes, sir, you are a dumbass (and a self-centered ignoramus of epic proportions–but I digress).

In the heat of the moment, we want to call it as we see it, simply, and with alacrity. And, being that there are just so very many dumbasses on the road, that means that I swear like a sailor these days.

Every day, I get on the road, and I am confronted with the decline of the human race. No common courtesy. Just me, me me.

I must finish this text. Who cares who is behind me. You can all wait until I finish. Besides, I’ll still make the light, and that is what really counts.

texting and drivingThis call is important, never mind that I am going 20 miles under the speed limit and the long line of cars behind me would very much like to get to work on time…the world revolves around me.

I could write an entire commentary on their lack of intellect and common decency (I guess I kind of am), but on the road, they all categorically become dumbasses.

No need to expound. No need to prove my literary capabilities with witty word play. I do not need a well thought out simile or an analogy to help one understand what a dumbass textingis. Everyone knows what a dumbass is. It’s that car in front of you.

So, what do I want from you this fine, sunny day (at least here in the great state of Texas)? What is my call to action? (Yes, I very much have one)

Please, do not join this mass exodus of the mentally deficient. Join the small minority of the conscientious. Respect the other people on the road, and their schedules. Think of the person behind you. Recognize that, just because you are in no rush, others on the road might be.

Join me in the good old fashioned characteristic of doing unto others what you would like them to do unto you.

You are not more important than everyone else. You are just as important as everyone else.

A little common courtesy can go a long way. Besides, nobody wants to be a dumbass, do they?

 

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