Gosh, darn it! Once again, I’m a schmuck. Queen of the Schmucks, sitting right here!

musings from the trenches

open mouthSo, I did it again. Open mouth, insert foot.

I didn’t mean it that way, but I’m sure I came off tacky.

Petty.

Selfish.

Down-right bitchy.

Gosh, I hate it when I do that!

And, as if screwing up isn’t bad enough, I must then think about it.

Over and over.

Replaying the scene, the dialogue, that moment–on endless loop.

Gosh. I reallywas a schmuck.

Ouch, there it is again, playing in my head, here it comes . . . that’s where I say it, “No! Don’t say it this time . . . !”

Damn. Said it. Again.

Well, not really, but in my head. Re-living it, in all its cringeworthiness.

hiding under the blanketIt’s like a movie that’s stuck replaying that one scene, the “pull the blanket over your head moment.” You know the moment I’m talking about. You know it’s going to happen–the girl is going…

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8 thoughts on “Gosh, darn it! Once again, I’m a schmuck. Queen of the Schmucks, sitting right here!

  1. I’m not this way. I’m the complete opposite actually. I tend to not say the things that are on my mind and it ends up haunting me later. My mother, however in this context, could be your mindful twin. She says the first thoughts that come to her mind and scolds herself later when she realizes the consequences of what she said outweigh the feeling of external release. She gives me an example to observe and learn from like every other aspect of life itself. We talk a lot and I praise her for accomplishing the most important step in behavioral observation which is the simple process of actually observing the behavior. People who tend to have this reactionary trait seem to be Type A psychological individuals. My suggestion would be to try and experiment with a Type B mindset in these type of situations. Make time on your watch and allow your thoughts and conscious to correlate into a less-blunt reaction. I know it’s hard but, like my mom, you’ve already accomplished the major step in behavioral change. You’ve sat back and observed.

    • Thank you, but it was just an example. I don’t actually do this myself, though like you, sometimes my mom does! 🙂 My point was more about the endless loop our thoughts can take when we make any mistake, not necessarily saying something, but also doing something that we wish we wouldn’t. Still, good thoughts!

  2. Pingback: musings from the trenches

  3. This happens to me many times especially when I’m upset or angry because I say whatever I’m feeling at the moment, then when I go back and replay it in my head over and over like a flashbulb memory and I realize my mistakes and still keep playing that memory over and over in my head. But I’m learning to stay calm during these situation, so I try my hardest to hold back my tongue to keep myself from saying something I’ll regret later on. Moreover, this also happens with the things you didn’t say and you keep visualising it in your head thinking of what you could’ve said, which would result from your unconscious.

  4. This reminds me of the term that we learned called the perpetuated aggression. In this situation it seems as if you are both the punisher and the recipient. You are in a vicious cycle of reinforcement for inappropriate behavior. You said something you should not have said and after you’ve said it, you feel bad. You begin to replay what you did and how it really should have been played out. You want to correct it but you might make it worse. You just can’t help yourself. The cycle continues.

  5. Professor Graham, this is Lexus Ratcliff, from Psych. 2301.C04. I feel that I do the complete opposite of saying whats on my mind. I do not speak what is on my mind, or what I am thinking. I have a shy and timid personality, before knowing someone genuinely. I do not say enough! Where as my mom is extremely talkative, and practically says whatever come’s to mind. Reading this blog, I automatically thought of my obnoxiously talkative and loud mother, which is both good and bad. She is someone who can start a variety of conversations with lots of strangers.But looking back on some of my moms conversations with others, I feel that some of the things that were said she may have regretted later on. I feel like this blog is a post where practically anyone can relate to saying something they long and wish to take back.

  6. Professor Graham, this is Jasmin Banton from Gen Psych 2301 C05. I feel the same way. It’s better to say what you’re thinking while slightly taking into consideration the situation and who you’re talking to. My mom really needs to read this because she has no filter whatsoever. I feel as though she is not aware of what she is saying and she does not register the feelings of the person she is talking to. This post brings up the argument of staying silent and saying what’s on your mind. There are situations where a combination of both are necessary.

  7. Hello Professor, this is Humza Qureshi from general psychology 2301.C05. I can agree with this 100% especially if I’m talking to a pretty girl and I say something stupid.I’m constantly regretting what I said and I cannot focus on other things for a large part of the day. I believe that this goes along with the principle of psychology dealing with the types of personalities. For example a type A personality has more anxiety for small things and gets worked up easily, we tend to overthink these small things majority of the time and make them bigger in our heads than what they really are.

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