So, I was having one of those crappy weeks. You know the kind I mean. The “Can this week possibly get any worse?” bottom of the barrel kind of weeks. I typically have two lines of defense against such days. I either shop (which was not an option) or I escape, typically through a great book, though last month the Vampire Diaries and the steamy Ian Somerhalder (the Damon character who I have unintentionally developed a bit of a crush on) did remarkably well. Having finished my latest great escapism read and having burned through the first 2 seasons of Vampire Diaries, I was left with a conundrum. What in the world could I do to distract me from the reality of my life, at least for a little while . . . ? Hmmm . . . .
Not having any great epiphanies, I thought I’d burn a little time on Facebook which I have pretty much ignored for the last several months. Not a good idea when you are struggling with inner angst over the state of your life! The games were a fine distraction, but looking through the window into some old friends or acquaintances seemingly perfect lives . . . VERY. BAD. IDEA!
I happened to stumble upon someone I used to know in college. She wasn’t really a friend of mine. I knew of her and one of my friends was her friend so I thought I’d just take a peak and see what she was up to these days. Wow. Did my day go from bad to worse!
I mean, Aimee was pretty and talented and popular in college and though I expected her to be successful, I guess I didn’t expect what I found. My life that had simply seemed a bit dingy around the edges all of a sudden felt like a down right nightmare!
She looked GORGEOUS! I don’t mean,” great for her age and for having a couple of kids” kind of gorgeous. Oh, no! I mean cover model,” how can you look like that and have had children” kind of gorgeous. All of a sudden the fifty or so stubborn pounds that have persistently refused to go away since I had my four children seemed all the more noticeable and I felt more like a frumpy house wife than ever before!
Wow! How can I ever go out in public again looking like this? Geesh!
And then, as I continued to torment myself by looking further into her charmed life, I found that, not only is she incredibly beautiful, but she is also extremely successful, a kind of mini celebrity. So, not only am I the somewhat too squishy, used to be pretty Mom, now I am the consummate under achiever! Great. Just what I needed!
She has style. She has class. She is beautiful and doing very well financially. She is living her dream. Don’t get me wrong. I’m really happy for her. I’m not jealous. Okay, so maybe I am, but who wouldn’t be? I mean, seriously?! It puts my life in stark contrast and well, it is impossible not to find my life wanting. Very much wanting. . . Sigh.
Well, I guess I learned a lesson. When you’re already feeling like crap, do not stumble on the Facebook page of the most successful person you used to know! Stick with the Vampire Diaries! Who cares if you are re-watching an episode you watched only a couple of weeks ago! Or better yet, forget the diet and dig into that secret stash of chocolate! You might feel like crap afterwards, but believe me, you will feel less crappy than if you troll Facebook looking at what you don’t have!
Now to go hit my treadmill! I’d like to be able to leave my house with my head held high again one of these days! I mean I might not be able to look like a super model, but if she can look like that, I don’t have to give in to the thirty-something Mommy frumpiness, right! 😉