The Big Green Monster Called Envy


            So I have a theory. As the mother of incredibly active kids, I believe we console ourselves. Have you ever heard the adage that if your kids are really busy that just means they are especially smart? Two of my kids’ doctors actually would comfort me by telling me that. Then they’d tell me stories of this child who did that and look at them now and that child who would do stuff like this, but now he/she is a rocket scientist or some such.

            I’m not buying it. I think that is what those of us who have such children say to each other in an attempt to put a positive spin on the chaos. It gives a sort of meaning to it. Something we can hang on to when the envy stirs.

            Envy, you ask? Those of you who have active children are with me, aren’t you? Yep. ENVY. Green and huge and ugly, and it likes to rear it’s head when you innocently tell us the “troubles” your child gets into. “Troubles?!” If I was only so lucky!

            “My three year old just won’t leave the computer alone! All of a sudden, I can’t keep her away!”

            And I’m thinking to myself, “Lucky you!” Are you kidding me! I’ve been fighting that battle since my son was 14 months old! Your daughter gave you an extra two years of peace that I didn’t get!

            Yep. Envy. When you hear about the friend who has two toddlers not getting just one nap, but two, in one day! There it is again. Big, green and slimy! When is the last time I had a nap? Hmmm . . . thinking . . . still thinking . . . yep. Can’t remember. Maybe when I had only one child and he was an infant!

            Oh, yeah. That’s enough to make me jealous!

            Or how about the sister-in-law who can just put in a movie and her toddlers actually sit there and watch it. What must that be like? Goodness! That would be almost as good as a nap! My kids don’t do that. Oh no! They tear the family room apart. A crayon materializes out of thin air and the three year old decorates the couch. The four year old sneaks down stairs, climbs on a chair, and sneaks the scissors and cuts the couch. All in the space of time it takes me to go to the bathroom! Yeah! Envy!

            So what do we tell ourselves when the Envy stirs? That’s okay. My kids are smarter than yours. It’s just that your kids are very boring. Mine are interesting and curious. Mine are just “problem solvers.”

            Like I said. Not buying it. Nope. It’s just how we cope with our jealousy when our one year old is trying to climb the ceiling and yours has yet to take his first step. It’s what we tell ourselves when our child starts climbing out of his or her crib at fourteen months and we’re forced to move them to a toddler bed and your two year old still stays in her crib confined at five in the morning while ours is jumping on our bed.

            Yes, we console ourselves with the “intelligence” of our own baby. Otherwise we just might never talk to the likes of you again! 😀


6 thoughts on “The Big Green Monster Called Envy

  1. Here here. We describe our daughter as “a spirited child.” She simply stopped napping at one years old, and that was it. No more naps. Ever. Unless it’s in the car. So if she gets overtired, we have to go on a “napdrive.” I hate hearing people’s sleeping/napping advice. Like yourself, I just think to them, “Lucky you.”

    • Ouch! That’s even worse than my three crazy kiddos! Of course the car nap thing never worked for us, so at least you’ve got that going for you! 🙂 But hey! She’ll probably be a neuro-surgeon some day, right?! That makes it all worth it! 😉

  2. Now, from your mother’s point of view…”someday you’re going to grow up and have children just like you.” Or something like that. Let’s see?????????

  3. Ummm, dear, our daughter is 2…not 3. I just had to point that out. (At least I’m pretty sure she is still 2…as sure as most men could be about the exact age of their children)

    • So, you caught me! I wrote most of that quite some time ago and though I knew the ages were off now, I didn’t think it was a big deal, but, considering that I gave you a hard time about not knowing how old Belle is . . . I guess I should have changed it! 😀

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